No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
