worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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