On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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