tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
