May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
