Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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