weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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