summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
