i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
