dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
