how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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