A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
