Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we made out on top of his cat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
