it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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