i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
