I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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