Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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