Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
