just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
