I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
