It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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