Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
