ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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