If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
