i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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