Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize