i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
