To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
