I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.