Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!