Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
