My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
