ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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