If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
