So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
