Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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