please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
