I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Randomize
