The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
