I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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