Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

SEEEEXXX PLEASE

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

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(859): View more from Kentucky

She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.

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(954): View more from Florida

oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?

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(254): View more from Texas

Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??

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(206): View more from Washington

There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!

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