Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
