Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
