I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
is that a dick in a sweater?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
