Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The best revenge is premature balding
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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