Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize