You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
