Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
