As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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