2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize