I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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