ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
