I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
