i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
