just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
