I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
