yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
