I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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