can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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