I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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