So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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