Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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